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A Bitter PillA fire that never fades,
fuels you when everything hurts.
When life piles up against you
brick by brick, you shove back.
Forcing your own way with hands
of steel and pewter. Your fingers
contort from all angles, stiff from years
of wear and tear.
Yet, as you embrace the dizzy that is your everyday,
the running never stops. Never slows.
How can you keep up when your
legs are always
Smile PrettyLonely figure in the window
Lonely doll with no face
He moves me, grooms me and
sets me right into place.
Weaves my hair from the finest fibers
Paints me a new emotion today.
I am his
and his alone.
I have no value
of my own.
When a person takes a soul, all others will collapse.
I am void and nothing but his personal bag of bones
Such is the nature of reality
Such is the nature of choice.
He chose to make me happy today
Sparkles next to my eyes, glued on
with rosebud sequins.
A slight curve on fire engine lips
Emotion as lively as the pseudo-flesh
he carved me from.
Chipped and worn;
exactly how I feel.
When he would sometimes leave me in
his dusty corners. The nook and crannies of
his wayward mind.
When he wouldn't take me out
to play dress up and
tell me how to live today.
“I love you”, he said one day
But the words were foreign.
I grasp for understanding, but I don't quite comprehend.
As beautiful as he made me, I was forged incomplete.
No misty eyes behind this w
Life on DisplayShe had grown up in a world
of coupon clippings, muffled ears
and tip toeing around broken glass.
Bruised feelings towards the world
that looked so narrow and thin;
Felt like a resolutely locked door.
Always grasping for the heavens
with a desire and ferocity
of piercing iron claws.
Dominating the skies with all the
bulk and majesty of a bird of prey.
Boxed in at one corner of a city;
dusty and forgotten.
Yet, always guaranteed to be visible
at night. Raging quietly through
the darkness like the last bit of embers
on the end of her stamped cigarette butt.
Artsy and upscale enclaves beckoned her.
Hidden oases of roasting coffee, hip music
and fresh-cut flowers. So unlike the barren
desert of chain convenience stores and dreary
apartment blocks she called home.
Beautiful young women
clink marble china together, bobbling
around each other like planets bobbling
around the sun; All struggling for recognition
and permanence. All the while, defiantly staring
into the face of the force that ga
DecadenceHe used to believe in her.
That girl. With her whispers
and a deep embrace.
The kind that made everything
make sense. A halt to the madness.
Sincerity, in its form.
He used to believe in the forever after.
But they sit two worlds apart
and her interests have changed.
She only cared for what could be given.
Only interested in how many ladders
she could climb.
Saying she would always be the same.
That she would sin no different.
But he had his doubts.
He had no idea what he was
Crisp benjamins trapped between
clenched fists. Desperate and coveted.
She loved him; maybe.
Loved his money; surely.
His words hit her where it hurt.
If you love it so much, why don't you marry it.
And there it was.
Vibrating. A crescendo.
Off the walls
she built and hid behind.
But be careful what you wish for.
You never know what one might do,
if given the opportunity to.
Oh, how easy it is to run from the truth
when you can't bury it.
She believed in magic.
Frantic were the words
Our Better AngelsSpur of the moment.
Don't know what to call it.
The war is over
but the casualties persist.
Exposed. Raw and withered
underneath the shell.
Sometimes it's necessary to
keep up appearances.
Because everyone wants a
A slave to their emotions
Never open, never free.
on tight fists
and snapped strings.
Where people have come undone,
undressed, for less.
She wants him to catch her.
Catch her in midair.
Help her forget
what she has to return to.
What lurks at home,
between window cracks
and noisy floorboards.
Tip-toeing and hush hushes.
A flash of her slip, to see everything
underneath it all.
Limbs explore with vigor, taut
but the distance continues
Desire, thy name is freedom.
Free to be inhibited and nonobligatory.
to keep their hearts totally
The rare chance
A Game of Cat and MouseWe made our beds to lie in them proud, proud of our great mistakes
I'll follow your every move in a stride that wills disguise
and now it's all down hill from here
Body separating, ascend and release, This tragedy is all my fault.
So let's hang us a hangman, we'll bury our burdens in blood
In all, we all, are truly afraid
The end is now starting...oh, so please just take your seat.
You’re too old enough to cry your sorry eyes out over the world
The absolute martyr, etching into me
Victims pay the price eventually
With every waking breath, Until you decide to wake up.
Hardened in hell through its fires; Be brutally honest, was it better before me?
In the seventh turning hour, will the victims shadow fall?
Oh you wear your facade so well, covered up in a plastic shell
You weren't worth what I thought of you.
In our sleep there's more to this nightmare
My guess, I'm missing o
The Woman in WhiteI hear the singing of pen and ink
when the doors scare away the voices and names,
the outside world teaching lessons I never wished to learn.
I've always been water in a world of oil,
repelled without malice or vicious intent.
Why can’t they see that these fresh tears are for them, not me.
So I tell them secrets when they can't hear me, secrets to keep the dark away,
this shapeless face of death blossoming in my bosom.
A face I've known for long enough to love
but never long enough to know, takes over
when I cloak myself in white.
So there stands the window, to my soul and the world.
My truest words come alive on summer afternoons and I know
but the knowing is strange and tells me only lies,
leaving me to turn to a future,
What Lies Beneath (revised)Madness is the beginning of all endings.
The sweetest of fruits;
a glistening palm slick with regret.
A feeling of bereavement of what I have lost
for I am not the person I once was,
and to this I have embraced.
This is the truth of what I've become;
This is the reality of what you've done.
Loss of sensation every time I forget to feel
The organ in my chamber bears no significance
when this is the monster you've made me.
As I fall further away like an afterthought,
I wonder where you stand.
Will you journey into the dark with me?
What does it mean to be alive?
An empty heart pumps cold blood
but behind wide eyes lies the unknown.
A forced truth I struggle to swallow,
still choking on what is left of yesterday.
Morning after's and night before's
Maybe this is my fault
just as much as it is yours.
But I think I’m too far removed
to really tell the difference.
SpellboundI am not enchanted.
The dreams come
but they are not dreams at all
and I am not asleep.
Your hand sliding up my thigh
and your groan slicks itself onto my neck,
embeds itself into my skin.
I wear the remnants
of your ecstasy in my flesh still.
It crawls when any other nears it.
It came to be that your bed-side clock
replaced my fearful heartbeat
as I laid in stasis and hoped -
for a passing; of time, of fingers, of life.
I cannot sleep with ticking in my ear anymore
I don't think of time running out, but of paralysis.
I think of lapses of concentration,
I think of those slow burning moments
that stretched out longer than I wanted
and lasted longer still. I think of the tears.
I am not enchanted.
The days pass
but they are not days at all
and I am not awake.
I am pacified by the numbness
of lobe or cortex that controls memory,
a self imposed strike out against you,
a strike my hand should have made.
Regret is buried
six feet beneath my fingernails.
IgnorePeople used to love me.
There used to be something interesting or
exciting in my darkness
or maybe it was just that we were all younger then
and they didnt know what I knew
which was that the world is a horrific place to be
and so I must have seemed wise and new,
but now I feel so alone
and it hurts
and I can't do this anymore
and I look around for a friendly face
and when I can't find one I wonder
who the hell I was looking for anyway
because I wither in agony
and half of it is loss, of her,
and half of it, is knowing
that no one will ever wither
from the loss
Broken Birds and Stark PhrasesWe slip and slide and fall
down curves and carrow places.
We cursive at the wall
in our undefinéd spaces.
Disjointed limbs extend
to strumpet our arrival,
to warn who are not friends
we will kill to survive all.
Hung upside-down haunters
hug branches in the Forrest.
Merry nightmare monsters,
Cheery snarling chorus,
Arachnic children know;
you can run but you can't hide
from this disparic truth,
darkness waits for you inside.
Although you seek the sun,
as all creaky spinsters might,
the night can't be out done
and it has you in its sight.
A Bad PersonAm I a bad person,
Just because you don't like me?
I can't help the way I am,
Nor do I need this grievance you see,
Though the friendship can never be born.
Am I a bad person,
Just because you hate my smile?
It's not a statement of self,
Honestly I find myself to be vile,
But you don't need to send me into oblivion.
Am I bad person,
Just because I act the way I like?
I'm sorry if I'm such a git,
I didn't mean to generate this psych,
Yet your judgement has passed and you've won.
Keep on DreamingThere are dreams in this world
Dreams of anything and everyone
Dreams are more than we believe
More than we actually dream
With a bit of faith
Dreams can become reality
Dream on, keep dreaming
You never know where those dreams may go.
Dreams change the world
Dreams can do anything
Dreams created the world
As everything that ever is, or was,
Began with a dream.
Keep on dreaming~
NovacaineShe clenches her jaw in her sleep
and there are furrows in her forehead
where mountains are being made
from mole hills inside her dream-mind.
She wakes up and takes two aspirin
to relieve the bite of her headache
brought on, I'm sure, by the repeated
night to night, day to day, grind.
The daily grind of life pushing her down
as almost dead pencil onto paper
Life tries to squeeze every last atom
of her capabilities from her time.
She grits her teeth in her sleep.
Toothache festers as she bites back
all the things she refuses to say aloud,
all the pain she tried to Novocaine.
She grinds the words into the enamel
and chews up the dust and decay
of a half swallowed tooth, truth,
and tries to rest before starting again.
15-SuicideI committed suicide long ago,
And, then I soon arrived in Hell.
When Satan asked if I'd like to see,
The life that had been planned out for me,
I smiled and laughed,
There wouldn't be much to see.
Then he switched on the screen,
And, as I looked on I began to cry.
Because what I saw,
Was the life I had meant to live,
This perfect life that had been awaiting me.
High school went by so quickly.
All those awkward years that had made me do this,
Didn't seem to have any meaning in my future.
I saw my father cry as he gave me away,
I saw my fiancé smile as he mouthed the words,
"I love you, darling."
I saw my beautiful children grow up,
And move away to college.
I saw myself laughing,
Happier than I'd ever felt.
We laughed and cried,
And went through both good and hard times.
My husband passed on,
We were so much in love we were as one,
And as he died I died, too.
Instead of dying the way I did,
I died so old and loved,
So warm in my bed.
Instead of dyeing at thirteen,
Instead of commit
Stand aloneA girl stands,
Alone and weak
As insults rain down
Across her rosy cheeks
Staining once pure skin
Is a knife to her heart.
Just kill yourself
No one would care
Silently she moves
Their taunting words
Haunting her every move
Where are you going?
Oh wait it doesn't matter
No one would love a bitch like you.
When she gets home,
Her mother doesn't ask
How she is
She goes to her room,
Cries more than she ever has before
And wishes for her life to end
As she falls asleep
She prays for some escape
From her personal hell.
Then she awakens the next day
To begin it all over again
Who would ever love a girl like her?
+I'm sorry...I'm sorry for letting you down...
I'm sorry for breaking your dreams...
I'm sorry for causing you pain...
I'm sorry for being the reason of your tears...
I'm sorry that my words
Are not what you want to hear...
I'm sorry that my face
Is not what you want to see...
I'm sorry for not being able to express myself
And hiding in my shell...
I'm sorry for not being perfect
And ruining all that I touch...
I'm sorry for not being what you want me to be...
I'm sorry for being me...
MirrorsI gaze into its depths in hopes of a different truth
to fill the cracks that splinter across my eyes.
I can’t make heads or tails about what lies beneath;
all I see are fragmented facts scribbled on the glass.
Bits and pieces of me scatter across the floor;
the threads between them cut and gone,
leaving me bare naked with nowhere to hide.
I stare at the imprint of myself,
and all the sins within come to the forefront.
I fall, shaking to the ground,
trying to gain my bearings against the rising tide.
Such a pity I could not gain ground in such a bitter storm,
and I have to wonder who is really to blame.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More